Hey ladies. I need advice on how to proceed on this issue. I don’t know how to make a formal complaint or which organisation I need to contact etc. because I’m not from Germany.

Here’s what happened...

This morning I went to my gyn for my 18w anatomy scan. I reminded my gyn that I have a sensitive uterus and that sometimes, if you push down too hard or manipulate too much with your hands, or with an ultrasound scanner, it can be quite uncomfortable or even painful. It can certainly trigger intense Braxton Hicks. She knew this anyway because I could hardly relax at my 12w NT scan. So I thought she understood what my reaction might be like and could adjust her patient care. I didn’t say she couldn’t proceed, I just reminded her that I was sensitive.

So she started the scan and, as I expected, it was quite uncomfortable and borderline painful. I was gripping the side of the bed and had my eyes closed trying to relax. I was listening to every word she said and whenever I felt I could, I opened my eyes to look at the monitor. I wasn’t deliberately trying to avoid looking at my baby! I just wanted to focus on relaxing in the hope that it would make the scan less uncomfortable.

But my gyn didn’t like this at all, and when I wasn’t looking at the scan she actually HIT ME. She hit me across my arm and started saying things like ‘how can you have a baby if you can’t even get through an ultrasound scan?! It’s YOUR baby. LOOK AT IT’. She then intimated she didn’t think I was a candidate for vaginal birth and should have a caesarean instead, just because I was uncomfortable. She also strongly hinted she didn’t want to handle any more of my care. ‘I think you should think about coming back here’ she said.

Towards the end of the scan it actually felt much more comfortable, when there was some heat in my tissue. My midwife always warms her hands and rubs my belly a bit before she starts her examination, and it does make a difference. I don’t think having uncomfortable ultrasound scans has ANYTHING to do with whether I can handle vagina birth - I just think I have a sensitive uterus and if you’re going to force pressure on it and manipulate it around when you’ve put cold gel on it then, much like manipulating cold muscles, it can hurt! And I DID get through the scan, I just had to do it my way, which meant closing my eyes.

She made me feel like a failure and pointed out many, many times how I was ‘not normal’. She reduced me to tears right there on the ultrasound bed. She didn’t even help me wipe the gel off my belly at the end she left the room as soon as she could without even talking to me again or passing me a tissue.

My husband was there the whole time, standing at the top of the bed, and witnessed everything. We were both too shocked at the way she treated me to say anything at the time. It’s only now that I’m home, back safely in bed, I feel able to start processing it all.

I feel that hitting me and shouting at me to look at the screen really crossed an ethical line, and I’d like to get some advice on how to report her to whatever necessary professional body I need to. I don’t know how things work in Germany as I am from the U.K.

Please no put-down comments about my sensitivity during the scan. I don’t feel I’m abnormal in any way whatsoever. Like I said, when my uterus was warmed up things felt much, much better. I don’t think there’s anything ‘wrong’ with me other than that I might be a little more sensitive than other women. That doesn’t make me defective, or a bad mother, for choosing to prioritise being relaxed over something as, frankly, superficial as looking at the screen!

Please help. 🌸

Moms in Germany