I just wish it was good for me.

I am so tired of having issues in bed....being intimate with the same person for ten years. I have never enjoyed it and I try so hard. He rubs me raw, makes it burn when I pee, and gets off in a matter of minutes...we separated for a while and I was with someone else....it was the best I could have ever asked for! Idk what to do, I love him but there is NO sexual attraction for me but as I said there never has been...I wish he was open to try things and take suggestions...married for nine years and I just really want to enjoy the moment with him and it not be painful and quick....what can I do?