Ok long story short my husband had an affair almost two years ago. Not like a one night stand type they were "in love" planning for the future... He was deployed when this happened... He came home, I found out he ended things we did counseling and he says it was all a mistake and I'm his best friend he's not an emotional person and doesn't really beg or ask for forgiveness or anything.... Things have been a lot better this last year And we decided to try for kid number 3. I got pregnant right away and am now 15 weeks and we just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. Problem is I still feel broken, I feel like a failure and I'm just waiting for him to not want me anymore. I know I sound stupid and I know what I would tell others but I honestly love him for some stupid reason and can't imagine live without him. I picture this girl he was with everyday and it hurts so damn much and I feel like he just stayed because it was easier. Now with being pregnant I'm extra emotional and it's not helping. I do everything for him and our kids and try and be ok but I'm broke and don't know how to ever be ok again... Sorry so long I just don't know what to do anymore and don't really have anyone to talk to. I try talking to him but it's like a brick wall, also he has PTSD so it doesn't help when trying to get through to him with anything.