Full Stop

Carla • 42 years old, 1 late loss + 4 Mc = 5 years of sadness. Pregnant with baby due May 6, 2018
My husband have been trying to have a baby for 3 years; we've lost 3 in that time also.
I feel like we re in a state of limbo- life has come to a full stop. Sure we go to work everyday, and have Saturday night pizza/movie night, make fun dates with friends, but planning for the future has come to a halt. 
Maybe we should plan our next vacation? Nope, we need to save for our second round of IVF. How about look for a house out of the city? Nope no point in doing that if we don't have children. Let's plan what we re going to do for the holidays? No, don't want to think of a Christmas right now without the lost baby I was supposed to be holding.
I always heard how living in the moment was so freeing, so liberating.
I have never felt so stuck in my life with no which ways to look- past is sad, future is sad. I'm stuck in the right now, and my life is on hold, with no where to go but right now. 
Nothing freeing about that.