Baby fever👶

I really thought I'd have a baby by now, however I will not rush Gods plan! I've went through a miscarriage summer 2014. Since then my relationship has been a little sketchy. We live together, but lately I don't know.. I can't even find words for it. I thought maybe I had the miscarriage because it wasn't meant. Or not the right time, but then I question myself is he even the right person? I want to start a family within the next 5 years, but I also want to make sure we are secure since I only want one father to my children. The baby fever is gaining on me but I'm trying to push it away. I just believe once I have a child I will have a reason in life, I believe I will be happy.. My child will be my purpose. It just downs me that my time isn't now but that's okay because it's Gods plan and there is a reason and right time for everything! Maybe he's teaching me a lesson before blessing. Maybe he's saving me from my biggest mistake. How do you cope with baby fever?