Normal?

Question

When I was around 7 or 8 my older sister (11ish) messed with me. She had told me it was normal and everyone does it. I did everything willingly because I thought it was normal. Long story short I lost my virginity to her and I didn't even know it until I got way older. She used to tell me that if we kissed we had to use tongues. Stuff like that. 
I used to have what seemed like flashbacks of being molested in elementary school and told my mom. Now that I'm older I don't know what to believe. Is this normal? Was I molested? I feel like I was but I also feel like since I willingly participate, I wasnt. But I didn't know what I was participating in. Idk. It's bothered me for a long time. I don't know if I should tell my mom or not. She thinks I was molested by an adult at elementary school (I never gave any specifics and no, I never gave a name or description or anything at all. She assumed because I stopped giving details. No school was called, no person was accused, nothing. So don't jump on me about ruining someone's life because I did not in any way shape or form.) But if it's considered molestation, it was by my sister. I don't know what to do. Is this normal for kids to experience? Please don't suggest therapy. I don't feel comfortable talking to someone who only cares because they get paid to care. And I am around my sister and talk to her very frequently. She hasn't done anything in several years and honestly I think she's forgotten.

EDIT

My mom is a very supportive type, she would be very understanding. I'm just worried it would eventually come out. She's not a loud mouth, but it's just in the back of my head  what if it got out. 
My sister does also have some mental stuff, she's been a self harmer and done some borderline suicidal stuff and has been in a few treatment centers for a couple weeks. Her issues are triggered by men rejecting her or cheating or not giving her attention. She's had 3 outbursts total, 2 of which landed her in a psych ward for a few days. I'm just mostly confused.on what to think and I feel like I lied to my mom by not correcting her when she assumed it was an unrelated adult.

Answer

Im sorry you and your sister both need to speak to someone. Not necessarily a therapist but someone. It is normal for children to be curious about each other's bodies but not to that extent.

Answer

I really don't know what to say except not all therapists are in it for money. It may take trying several different ones before you find one who is a good fit. Perhaps you can find one who would be willing to do sessions over the phone, only. I think it's important that you seek help so you can come to terms with this.

Answer

If you don't want to see a therapist I do recommended seeking out a support group.   Many meet at a town hall or church.    While it is normal to want to do sexual exploration your sister did molest you.   It is not normal.

Answer

when I was 6 or 7, my brother and his friend forced me to give them both blowjobs, and told me if I didn't do it, they would tell my dad that I did do it. I was scared, so I did it. when I got older, I hated giving head to any guy ever, I was literally scarred. I told my fiancé about it and he was really supportive, and told me I never had to give him head ever. (but I do, he's the only one I've ever done it with willingly)
but honestly, it was so long ago that I'm pretty sure my brother forgot. I never talked about it or told anyone besides my now fiancé. I don't know how many people his happens to, but I want to say it's definitely not "normal"

Answer

My brother did this to me but he would threaten me if I didn't do something he wanted. I always felt guilty and I always thought I was responsible.  I went to therapy and it really helped. I do think it's molestation. It's confusing for a child to comprehend. I'm very sorry you are dealing with these feelings.

Answer

Same happened to me. I'm not really sure what advice to give you. I haven't told anyone.

Answer

I don't think your sister was aware of what she was doing. She was 11, that's still young.

I remember my friend always try to kiss me with tongue at that age.

Answer

I went through a very similar experience with my half sister. I was 7 she was 10. Around the same time, my cousin and uncle (my uncle is only a year older than me-I know it's weird), made me do things too. I always chalked it up to kids experimenting, but in recent years I've realized it really messed with my head and I view sex differently that most people. I get really weirded out by certain things that are considered normal (like masturbating or porn), I just try my best to be modest and keep my sex life secretive. I live in a different state and don't talk to those family members very frequently, so maybe space was what I needed to cope. I still to this day have not gone into detail about things that have happened because I'm embarrassed that I didn't say something all of those years ago.

Answer

Your sister was 11, by that age she should've known it was wrong. I went through a similar experience with my brother. He didnt say it was normal, but he said it was practice for when we're adults. I consented because it was my brother and I was a timid little kid. But it's still wrong, and still incest. 
As far as telling your mom, that depends on the kind of mom she is. Was she supportive when you told her vaguely? What are all the possible reactions she could have (realistically)?
I told my mom when I was 10, and she was really supportive and I figured she would be. So it all depends on the situation. I hope everything works out for you

Normal?

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