Open relationship problem

I am in an open relationship for over 6 months now. 

I have become attached to the second guy that I met. I knew that it was mostly going to be a casual thing. I told the new guy that I was scared of ever getting attached and he made it clear to me that I shouldn't worry since he wasn't looking for a relationship, and that he has always been the one to end them anyway.

We started seeing each other late in February. We met each other almost every week except when he had to go on business trips. The last business trip drifted us apart. I felt that he no longer put much effort into talking to me. His answers were short and terse. In the beginning, he would always ask, “Are you going to keep seeing me?” And then he’d say other personal things. He’d say “I missed you.” When we met the last time, there was this lost connection. I think he has met someone else…

The last time I saw him in person, we were about to go to sleep, I brought up that we should set an “expiration date”, or in other words, when we should end it. 

“If you’re not getting a positive experience out of this—” 

I quickly cut him off short and said, “No, I am. I’m just afraid that I’ll get too attached.”

“Every time we meet, or in general?”

“In general.”

“Shouldn't you figure things out with your boyfriend first?” 

“Yes, that is true.” I turned away and told him that I didn’t want to talk about my feelings because I would end up crying. 

He kissed the back of my head and said, “You’re a sweet girl.” 

We held hands and fell asleep.

The next morning right before I was leaving we hugged and every other time he would kiss me goodbye but this time he didn’t. 

“If you want to talk, you can always call or text me,” and said our goodbyes.

Usually we would text each other after having left but he texted me later at night and said “hi hope you are ok.” I replied the next night because I was contemplating whether or not to tell him how I was feeling or to save it till we were to see each other again. I always get nervous with him and usually forget or have trouble saying what I wanted to tell him but thought it was best to talk in person and expressed that through text. He usually responds quickly and would always text within the same day, but after 4 days I texted him asking if he were free next week because I wanted to talk and also pick up things that I left at his apartment. He responded, “sure.” That same day I asked if he were free on Tuesday or Wednesday after 7pm. The next day he said he was going to be busy so I said that he should let me know when was best for him so we can work it out from there. The next day he replies “ok”.

I couldn't help but feel that things were going downhill so I texted him:

“Actually, I would rather not drag this out. I would have preferred to talk in person or phone but I will text out of convenience so that time isn't wasted. Thank you for spending time with me. I'm sorry to have ruined the mood all the time. I always felt confused and the reason why is because I was battling between my wants and needs. I wanted this but at the same time knew it wasn't meaningful enough for me. I was never fond of transient encounters anyway. There are many reasons why I put myself in this situation but who cares, it happened, and I don't regret anything. I don't really need the oils so it's ok. No need for a response. Thanks. Take care”

He replies:

“Ok

I’m not sure what To say”

My response:

“Sorry, I don't know why I always feel the need to explain myself. I don't want any misunderstanding. What I mean is, I didn't intend to like you as much I did especially because I knew what kind of arrangement this was. Also, I don't like ending things on a bad note.

You don't have to say anything and I think it's best that way.”