In light of the huge amount of, and somewhat repetitive, debates about transgendered people being in the bathroom I'd like to share a story and my opinion if anyone cares, as the wife of someone who is transgender and mother of a child with two mothers (yes, biologically ours). I'm not making you read this so back out if you're tired of it. Excuse the typos, this will be long and I'm busy.

My wife and I went to Hobby Lobby just the other day to pick up some beeswax and, let's face it, probably a new dinosaur toy for Matty and other crap we don't need but find too pretty to leave on the shelf. We go into the tiny 3 stall bathroom we'd been in a thousand times before over the course of our lives. A women was already in there and walked out of one of the stalls to wash up just as my wife went in another. She, like many others seemingly not taught to avoid staring at others, slows and glaces at my wife before she closes the stall door. This angers me every time I see it, but I'm thankful some don't react this way at this point in my life and go to the other mirror. She washes her hands while I fuss with my rained-on hair and suddenly breaks the silence by looking at me. She was a bleached blonde and appeared to be in her late twenties, too old to not know the aforementioned "don't stare" etiquette. She asked "Should I go get the manager?". It was loud in the little bathroom, my wife would have had to be deaf to not have heard it. Without looking her I said "For? She's just peeing. Besides, she's pansexual." She finished her hands and left.

See what most people don't take into consideration is that transgendered people are capable of having just as many sexualities as those who are cis. Another thing that is grossly over looked is that fact that we as a society seem to be afraid of males due to the sexist stigma that all those with a penis are pigs, abusive, devoid of emotion, thoughtless, sex hungry, etc. All things that yes, could be true, but what exactly is stopping females from being this way? The females you already share the bathroom with? Those born with vaginas yet have a high sex drive, look at you like a sex object for the same moments a male would, and yes, even look on your little girls with lust as some males in the mens room look at your sons and grown husbands.

Pedophilia, like any fetish, does not come in one set gender or sex. They develop along side your sexuality and everyone has them. Most of us thankfully aren't into children, and although consensual non consensual or the "rape fetish" is one of the most common fetishes out there (especially more among females in case you didn't know) there is a enormous difference between having desires, acting on them with a consenting partner, and taking them out on strangers. Not unlike murder, if you've ever read the studies showing we all think to kill at least once during our lives. I'm not saying pedophiles shouldn't be locked up, but what I am saying is pedophiles/rapists/murderers don't look like one set group of people, they look like all of us.

They look like you.

They look like me.

The 4'7 blonde getting Starbucks, the guy who comes to your house daily to deliver mail, your childs school teacher, and even your own child. No look, no group, no age is excluded.

The point of this reminder is to point out that anyone you know might be curious about you or your childs' insides. There is no set group of people devoid of evil, but thankfully most of us either don't want to do others wrong or simply have morals and don't act on it. Everyone is capable of bein dangerous and sometimes you're unlucky enough to bumble into a bad person. But discriminating against a specific group of full-bladdered people who might otherwise be assalted or face the rape you fear going into the other room? Come now. You have been sharing bathrooms with transgendered people your whole life, I promise you this. This isn't new, transgenderism has always been and they probably aren't going to announce they haven't had or maybe don't want reassignment surgery (Some don't, some can't afford it, or both. Personally, we wanted our own children). What you're really doing is hurting those who unfortunately don't conform structurally in the physical sense -something they can't help without expensive surgery and years of hormones. Have you ever tried to wait that long to not take a dump? Doubt it.

"But rape happens more to women!" you say? You're right! Women do get raped more. *All* women. Including transgender women, particularly when put in a confined space with a would-be criminal. Sound familiar?... You might be hot, but you're probably pretty normal. Your very existence isn't it's own form of recognized fetish on every porn site or a form of punishment in other countries. If you're cis you were lucky enough to be born without having to deal with this, but you're unfortunately just viewed as "lesser" than man. Another inaccurate hand-fed stereotype. Imagen being viewed as both a inadequate masculine being and facing this on top of it.

They aren't the meth heads fb wants you see, they aren't going to go in the women's room dressed as a man. They are clean, normal, boring people who wear make up correctly, buy pretry clothes and have fat "meh" days just like cis people. They're also people who have suffered and understand completely your fear COMPLETELY, because they're just as afraid as you are. Again, we're never safe, but we can stand together to help keep each other that way instead of casting good people out.

One final thing: how do you know if someone's a rapist? A rapist will rape you. That's it. They also don't have to have a penis to do that by the way.