Told NO to ttc

Jessica • TTC our rainbow baby. Baby #2 for me, baby #1 for the love of my life ❤️❤️
Long vent but looking for Mama support...
So the same week I had my mc (3/9 at 6 wks) the dr called to tell me that I need a colposcopy from a test in OCTOBER! (Colposcopy- a procedure done because I had abnormal cells at a pap that tested positive for HPV. They are looking for cervical cancer. Mind you I have had the same partner for 3 years).
So when I got there for the colposcopy I was told that there are 5 grades--and if it was grade 4 or 5 that is early signs of cancer so I wouldn't be there. 
I had to have a more extensive exam than just the colposcopy because of my results. She literally went INSIDE my cervix and completely scrapped it in an ENTIRE circle. It was painful. 
Today I am told I have cervical intraepithelial neoplasia (CIN). 
Now I have to go in for surgery to remove any precancerous cells. I am also told I cannot even think about having a Baby for at least 6 months. I am DEVASTATED. We were pregnant, then lost it, then got the green light to try again just to be told NO! And my BFF is pregnant. Because that was part of our 2016 life plan. And now she's doing it without me.. And most certainly not by choice. 
I want to know I'm not alone. I want someone to tell me it will be ok.. 
Because I feel like jumping off a ledge...