So I have experienced 4 mc's and am currently pregnant again. Here is the thing, I have the right to worry, to be paranoid, and to be very real and logical about this. Any woman who has walked this type of journey does. I know I cannot be the only one who really hates the cliche advice from others both in life and even here sometimes. Just be real. There is nothing wrong with being raw and not always being "positive and stress free." I actually believe one of the most damaging things you can tell someone whose faced recurrent loss or any loss is "just be positive." What do you think she will have echoing in her thoughts if she ,again, faces miscarriage? "We'll maybe if I had been more positive...how come I couldn't worry less?" I know bc I have had these thoughts and it drove me nuts. It truly is not as simple at flipping a switch and , vua-la, no worries. Be kind to yourself ladies, and above all show yourself grace. I am not here to tell you to be positive bc guess what, that is not always possible...you WILL have moments you feel fear and worry. Any time you lose, you fear losing again. Do not let all the voices make you feel as though you need to be better than you are or somehow feel calm when, at times, you just can't. There is a whole new set of emotions that comes when you are pregnant following mc. Disconnect, anxiety, frustration, impatience, and fear of hope. It is OK to feel real feelings and be honest about them. Vent to a trusted and empathetic source to get it off your chest if you need. I just truly want to protect women in our shoes from these expectations and guard other women from facing some of the damaging conversations I have had. You are on a journey that is both incredible and uncertain. Be you and be easy on yourself. The irony is you can stress yourself out trying to not be stressed. Let it come, admit it and let it go when you can. It is a process but you know you love your baby and do not put pressure on yourself to fit into any mold. Even though we all have this in common, the experience was still very unique to each of us. How we face the process will be different, I am in no way encouraging stress but I really hate that women can't admit it if they do. You all have my highest hopes for your rainbow babies and I'm wishing you the happiest moments to come.