What would you do / say ?

Question

So I just had my daughter a few weeks ago..her dad and I are together but obviously when you first have a baby sometimes you have issues.. HIS father tries to butt in our relationship so I looked at my SO's phone earlier and I saw his dad was telling him to leave me...just to worry about taking care of the baby, That I am lazy (Just had a baby 5 weeks ago and I am exclusively breastfeeding) & that he doesnt need to take care of me because all I am doing is LAYING around... Mind you, we live at the apartment underneath my parents home, so I have help, just not all the time. I got frustrated because I am not gonna just throw my baby in day care , just to work and spend all the money from working on day care and not see her at all. DAY care costs a fortune! It makes NO sense when I can just stay home with her, take my online classes and work from home.

But apparently I am lazy... No I am simply taking care of my daughter..and he knew I wanted to do this for at least 1 year.

Anyways. At this point I do not like his father one bit and need advice as to what you ladies would say or do ? I told my SO how I felt and he doesn't really comprehend. I really want to tell his father off.  He told my SO that I used him for a black child.... (SO is part black, I am mixed with italian, Spanish and Irish) ... That is what ticked me off. I would never USE someone for a child.

Did anyone deal with the same type of thing? Thanks.

Answer

Dont let what he says get you down! Your SO should say something to him! He has no right to say any of that.

Im in the same situation. Baby due 6/9 and my SOs family have pushed me over the edge controlling and telling me how to raise my baby and hes not even here yet! Im already a bad mum apparently and his mum thinks she will be coming round everyday to tell me what im doing wrong. She says horrible things and his grandparents arent any better. He doesnt stand up to them cause they never do/say anything in front of him!! Im at a point where as far as im concerned with how they have treated me and spoken of my child that when he is born they wont be meeting him until the pull their heads out and back off. They dont even know im having a boy and they wont be finding out till they meet him whenever that may be.

Your baby is yours and your partners not his parents etc. You are a stay at home mum for your own reasons and exclusivley BF is hard time consuming work! I would be telling him to speak to his family about backing off! Good luck :)

Answer

Girl go off on him!
Okay.... Not in a mean way though ! Lol just tell him to kindly butt out. You don't even have to explain yourself to him at all. Screw that. Who in their right mind would say you're lazy after just having a baby...... 😏 
My fil sometimes acts like a child and there's been so many times that I have wanted to talk back to him so he can see what it feels like. My boyfriend and his siblings are like scared of him or something.. They call it 'respect' but like my dad told me , there's a big difference between respecting and being scared . I'm not the type to keep quiet except I'm only doing it right now bc we live with them ... But as soon as we're out I'd love for him to talk to my boyfriend or I the way he does right now and think that I'll keep my mouth shut.

Answer

You need you SO to stand up for you in this instance. What did his side of the messages say? Because there is nothing you can say to you FIL if your SO hasn't defended you. He's needs to do that. He needs to set his father straight of your words will be in vain. It's out of order not to mention none of his business and that's what your SO needs to tell his father. Can't  be disrespected like that.

Answer

This is what I deal with. My mother in law. My wife tried to talk to her last night and she called me the guard dog and wall to my wife. She in the past has stalked my wife and made her lose jobs. My wife tells her that and she just says I've known where you lived for a while and if I wanted to show up I would have done so by now. Yeah bc that's comforting. I would discuss w your SO how he feels about you being home. So he doesn't accuse you of snooping.

Answer

I'd be so pissed I've been dealing with my boyfriends mom are hole relationship 5 years 2 kids and she still always has some to say but luckily he knows I don't put up with that shit and I make it a point were she acts up she don't even get to see my kids she went months being out of our son's life because of her actions so I will do it again too! The things he said is horrible and I'd freak out and tell
Him off but I'm crazy lol

Answer

First of all congrats on your baby! Enjoy every second of it💕

His father sounds crazy! Why would he say such things? I don't understand if your son is happy with his relationship and his little family let them be!!!
My father in law used to constantly comment on things we do/say to each other how we should act and what we should do. He's super sweet and kind to mee but his comments are just so annoying and most of the rude! He treat us like kids specially me and has to have a say in everything, after one year of marriage and living together I finally had enough and told him to stop! If I need help/ advice or his opinion on anything I'd ask him, and that his opinions doesn't matter if we didn't ask for it he finally stopped and never said a word after that after 3 years. I know I sound rude or harsh but I really wasn't I was very sweet to him and was very calm and eventually got him bought him a gift cuz I felt guilty but I really needed to say something cuz it was driving me crazy

What would you do / say ?

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