I feel really down tonight and can't seem to snap out of it like I normally can. To give you a bit of background. ....

* My husband and I have been ttc for 5+ years and after 2 mc's (both over a year ago) we are getting nowhere still.

* I have been diagnosed with PCOS and Endometriosis last August and am regularly in absolute agony. I am prescribed morphine to deal with the pain but I am ill so often it has meant I have lost my job as a teacher and am no longer able to work.

*Not working obviously means we have very little money lately as my husband is a full time student so doesn't get much either.

* Until last Aug we had a massive house on a really nice estate near kids schools and family which we had privately rented for 10 years but landlord was skint and decided to sell it from under us. We were given 8 weeks to get out and as we couldn't afford to take on another private rent we had to go on council but all we managed to get was a tiny maisonette on a really crappy area. Very noisy neighbours, no garden, no storage room etc.

* I have a child to a previous relationship and my husband has 2 kids to his ex. We have got them living with us since last Sept cus she doesn't look after them and we are going thru court case which is really stressful despite knowing we are doing best for kids. His ex only has contact for a few hours twice a week. No overnight contact.

*Yesterday in a meeting my hubby's ex told us that she has managed to Blag council into giving her a massive 3 bed house on the estate where we used to live, bang next to school etc and she has got it by saying kids live with her (she wouldn't be entitled to 3 bed otherwise). I have tried reporting her to council previously when I knew she was looking and have even given em court order proving kids live with us but it did no good.

I just feel so bloody frustrated tonight. We aren't getting anywhere trying to move through council, no one wants to exchange with us cus it's a crap area so we are stook here. I'm fed up of not being able to get pregnant, fed up of being so poorly, fed up of not being able to do the job I loved and fed up of this woman doing everything wrong and always coming up smelling of roses and yet I do everything right and raise her kids too for good measure cus she can't be arsed to do it properly and yet I get nowhere. I just feel so frustrated by it all tonight. Normally I quickly snap out of it but my husband has gone to his part time night job and kids are in bed so I'm sat all alone dwelling on it all. I've scoured net all night for a private rented but no one wants to rent to us cus we are currently reviving benefits till I can work again. I feel so grumpy, mardy and negative these last few days.

Sorry for the rant I just needed to get it all out.