Abusive relationship or not?

Question

So I've been having relationship ups and downs. And there are some emotional abuse signs but he has no idea he's doing them?! None of it is on purpose. They may just be hurtful habits I need to bring up.

Which I've tried and he just doesn't understand. I feel I have to over explain my self to the point where I don't even know what I'm talking about and get frustrated.

And Incase you were wondering. Sex isn't that great.. I mean he finishes and it doesn't feel terrible for me. Just.. Nothing special. Open for any suggestions.

Answer

If you're wondering if your relationship is abusive or not, it more than likely is.

Answer

i would just try sitting down with him with no distractions around you, and telling him exactly how you feel. if he has a problem with listening, give him a warning that he should probably pay close attention. youve got to get comfortable with talking with him about the problems youre facing in the relationship. if your problems continue to be swept under the rug, youll just end up resenting him.. and nobody wants to feel that way. dont make yourself unhappy. just go for it and tell your S.O how you feel.

Answer

im in the same boat. when you talked about feeling like youre always forced to over explain yourself, and you end up forgetting what you were talking about in the first place, its like taking the words out of my mouth. my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years now and this has kind of always been an issue. 
he also never takes the time to try to understand how im feeling or why im feeling thag way. 
anyway, (im rambling now) i hope you find some answers to your doubts!

Answer

Sex shouldn't matter in a relationship first off. I don't care if my boyfriend was horrible at sex I'd give him hints and help him and all that to get better not complain because sex was horrible. 
Also,I don't see if it's not on purpose than why don't you just sit down and talk to him about it and see what happens. Some times I explain my self so much no one understands what I was talking about anyway.

Answer

We try and talk and I finally told him that I believe the root of the problem is that I feel I can't talk to him or bring those things up and instead I bottle it up. So I thought the solution was to make it easier for me to talk to him, to make me feel comfortable talking to him and bringing things up. But all he kept saying was "well you need to talk to me more then" and I'm like ?!?!?! I can't if I don't feel comfortable!?! I hate over explaining my self because it makes me feel stupid and doubt what the problem is.. And I feel like I shouldn't have to do that just because he is stubborn and doesn't get it.

Abusive relationship or not?

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