Depression. (Small rant?)

Z
I've been battling depression and all of my insecurities for years. I've been abused mentally, physically, sexually ages 3 to 16 (I moved out at 16). I am nearly 18 now and I'm still struggling with everything I've been through. I have low self esteem and I can't see the beauty in me at all (I know there is and I know everyone is beautiful in their own way). I am 98 lbs and only 5'3. I was diagnosed with anorexia quite some time ago and have never been able to gain over 115 lbs because of it.  I suffer from suicidal thoughts everyday and I never realized that moving out would still be hard and nothing would be sunshine and rainbow. The family I live with now is financially struggling and on the verge of losing our house. I can't even do anything about it and I can't even get a job. I'm on the verge of tears every moment of the day. And I don't even want to explain the situation with my boyfriend on here..(his mother with whom he still lives with invited me here). I just want someone to talk to, someone to listen to me and say everything will be okay. I need a friend, and I have none...not since I moved out. I'm sorry if this post is spazzy I just can't do this alone anymore..