First love hurts

Me & My ex were together for almost a year , our anniversary was suppose to be on the 13th of this month. I really loved him & cared for him , he was my first everything , we did everything together , we had an apartment together. But one day we got into a BIIIIG argument & I haven't had any way to contact him since then. After everything we been through now he just seems to hate me so bad , I tried to call his phone & text but I never get through. Like I'm still inlove with him & I wanna change whatever I can to be with him. I'm 19 bouta be 20 & he just turned 23 in March. We have argued before but always stayed together so when this happensd I just couldn't believe it. Like everything he did for me I know he loved or still loves me even if he tell people differnt , he did so much for me when I didn't have anything & even when he didn't have anything. I want us to get back together & I'll do whatever to make him happy , I just love this boy so much & I can't stop thinking about him. I cry all the time. We broke up the day after our anniversary in April which was the 14th and haven't talked since & it's almost our anniversary this month. Like does he still love me ? Is he just talking a break ? Does he still think about me ? I FEEL LIKE SHIT ! I miss him & I love him , I can't see myself with anyone else ! I feel like it's my fault cause I started the argument and it just makes me wanna go back in time ! We had so many plans I just can't believe this man 😩