Pregnancy After Eating Disorder

When I was a teenager, I was anorexic. I would suck on ice or breathe steam to get full and occasionally "indulge" by eating half a fig Newton. Over the years, I recovered and maintained a steady weight, but during my last major depressive episode, I gained 50 pounds. This resulted in irregular periods and me being unable to get pregnant. However, I lost 35 pounds and now am 10 weeks pregnant. I'm finding myself very scared of the weight gain and even though I only have the tiniest of bumps, I feel the compulsive need to lose weight and quick. I have wanted a baby for my entire life and tried for two years, so I clearly know nothing is going to stop me from getting bigger at this point, but I was not expecting the weight gain to affect me mentally this soon. I'm hoping I will feel better about it once I start to round out more and get out of the looking like I've gained some weight phase, but I am so scared of how I am already starting to feel.