Scan day today... I feel numb

6+1 pregnant. Due for my first scan today. This is my fifth pregnancy and so far zero babies. I'm on hormone treatment to try prevent miscarriage again but yesterday afternoon I started bleeding and cramping... Which I know /can/ be normal but I'm at the exact stage I always miscarry at and this is always how it starts. Still bleeding this morning.

My boyfriend's gone really quiet... Keeps telling me to try be positive but I just know. Like, this isn't my first time at the rodeo - I know when I'm miscarrying. I'm just convinced the doctors are going to try telling me I'm just earlier than I think because that's happened twice before... They told me they couldn't see anything on the scan because I was about five weeks when I KNEW I was six+. They told me both times to come back in two weeks for a rescan and I miscarried on my own days after. This time it'll be two weeks of hormones to try prevent a miscarriage, even if I know the baby is gone.

I just feel numb. I bawled my eyes out when I started bleeding every other time, cried for days and days. I don't think I've even cried this time. I'm 99% certain it's over and I'm not crying. Boyfriend says I'm in shock... 

But I'm not shocked. I expected this. I just don't understand.