What do you say when people ask if you are pregnant?

Question

Before TTC I was a bit of a drinker. Wine with dinner and cocktails on weekends. Now that we are TTC I have majorly cut back, and I stop altogether during the TWW. The only problem is people immediately assume I am pregnant because I'm not drinking when we go out socially.

Last night I went to dinner with a large group of people and had someone say "OMG is that water, are you pregnant??? Congrats!!" Very loudly to the entire table. I had tested earlier that day and got a BFN. I almost started crying out of embarrassment. She wouldn't let it go and I finally asked her to stop. I was supposed to hang out with the same group again today, but I am too embarrassed and sent my husband by himself.

So my question is, what should I have said to avoid this uncomfortable situation?

Answer

Just say you're taking some medication that requires you to not drink. Simple 😀. Baby dust to you

Answer

I just tell them no. And when I know I'll let them know.

Answer

I've had the same issue, and it's mortifying,   especially when it's such a sensitive subject as we're on month 14 of trying :/ I just started saying I am on a low sugar low carb diet trying to shape up for swimsuit season,  and no one questions it at all! !  Good luck!

Answer

I'm so glad you posted! Same exact situation here. Including our first month trying, we had an early MC. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

One of my close gfs just had her husband get up and tell the waiter to make her club soda with a lime, as another poster mentioned. Her friends are biiiiig wine drinkers, so if they asked why she was having liquor instead, she would just say she had too much wine the night before and couldn't stand the thought of it. She would also have her husband sneakily pass her his empty beer bottles at the bar and she would hold them and occasionally pretend to drink. Dark bottles of course. And usually in a koozie.

I'm in my TWW now and went to a bachelorette party this wknd and didn't drink...rather than fight it, I ended up telling a couple of the girls what had happened and how it made me realize what a true miracle it is to have a healthy pregnancy and baby. Shockingly, every woman I told had also had at least one miscarriage and was so supportive and lovely. Anyway I just wanted to share my experience bc it was so surprising and special...some of the women I was meeting for the first time.

Good luck!!

Answer

I have a similar issue with our social group.   When I was pregnant earlier this year every social outing was a dead giveaway because I wasn't drinking.   We miscarried and are now ttc again and I am avoiding social outings due to anxiety about encountering the exact scenario you described.   I know people are supportive and hopeful for us but it just makes what is already an emotional roller coaster that much worse.

Answer

I'm just honest. I miscarried in March.  I've quit drinking, caffeine and smoking. (All I stopped when I found out I was pregnant) As I want to make sure I'm in the best health I can be if I'm lucky enough to fall pregnant again. I have no shame in saying 'we are trying for a baby' Why pretend it's for any other reason

Answer

Could you go down the route of saying your the designated driver for the evening?  That works quite well for me and hubster. Also if he's driving he won't drink and will purposely buy all our drinks at the bar and requests sparking water or lemonade with lime so it makes it seem like it's a gin and tonic or vodka and soda. It's so hard answering those questions. I dread going out when I am in tww and 8ften have people over instead to make it easier to hide xx

Answer

I've been navigating this as well. Most close friends I'm hanging out with law we are trying and get it. But I've felt the need to be super sneaky for some reason? So I've been ordering ginger ale or soda water in a rocks glass, or making myself a mocktail when at home. I just don't feel ready to talk about it and found this helps me avoid that awkwardness

What do you say when people ask if you are pregnant?

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