Lost..

It's been a year since losing out little one. I was almost 12 weeks. I'm stuggling a lot this week but since many people didn't know we were expecting, I didn't tell many people about the loss, so I feel very alone. My SO isn't very good about talking about him. We've done some memorial type things this week but I'm still struggling. Lots of tears and holding each other, but I still feel guilty. We want to start ttc but we're both so nervous because we don't think we could handle this again. Any advice on coping or what to do when start ttc? Also my life has changed drastically in a good way, so the dress they think was a part of the mc is no longer there