How to deal with a part time lying "dad"?

Question

I got pregnant 3 years ago. I tried to be with the father during the pregnancy and a year afterwards, but he wasn't trying to man up so I left instead of caring for a little boy. How do I deal with a person that has made $300 worth of child support payments in 2 1/2 yrs and feels like he now has a say so in my sons life? There's a lot of history between us that I have no issue answering, but how do I go forward with this? I am trying to be nice but his actions has made it difficult to trust him so why waste my time and my sons time (who has no clue who he is) if he only cares every couple weeks and refuses to get past the fact that I've moved on.

Answer

Take his ass to court and get child support.   Don't even need him there depending on your state.   File petition and it will be automatically deducted from his paycheck.   If he has an issue with that but thinks he still can have a day in your child's life, tough.  He needs to learn that he can't be the dad who gets to come and go add he pleases.  He's either going to support his child and be in his kids life or not.   Coming from someone who grew up with a deadbeat dad. .. or sucks when they get to come and go as they please.   The least he can do is financially help support.   If he wants to see his son then he can go thru the courts for visitation.   But he'll probably have to do 2.5 years of back pay.

Answer

Hopefully dad isn't on your sons birth certificate.

If he is, You need to start documenting dates times and behavior.  Specifics...   Get a planner and write everything,  save text messages. You can print and archive texts & voicemail with an app called Phoneview.  
If you wouldn't say something in front of a judge, don't say or text it.   
If he disappears you can have the court charge him with abandonment and ask for sole legal and physical custody.  HE WILL STILL GET SOME FORM OF VISITATION.   
If his situation or behavior is unsafe make sure you have PROOF.  You can ask for supervised visitation.   
Document all calls and attempts to show and no shows.

If he decides to take you to court, you can get in trouble for parental alienation.   
Guys like to dissapear on kids while they are babies and show up when they are 3-5 years old because "the hard part" diapers and bottles is over and it's easier to play dad when a kid can wipe their own bottom.
Find an attorney or legal aid service that can have you sort things out where you can come out organized and your ex will always have clear rules and a safe environment for your child.

Answer

I would never keep my son from his father. He never pays his child support but that doesn't make me keep them apart. A boy needs his dad. If he is just bossing u around till him to kiss it but if he wants to see him u should.

Answer

I don't think the money shud matter...wait I'm sorry, I kno it DOES matter but as far as him seeing his child it shudnt. Even if u cud cut him out completely ur child may resent u one day for that. I'll never forgive my mom for not letting me see my dad becus he was a shitty father who had zero involvement in my life unless it was convenient for him . I still loved him just the same. I know NOW that it was so hard for her, God bless her, but it tore me apart and I missed him so bad I thought my heart wud explode as a small child...9 years old only.... it ruined my life in many ways. Those rare occasions i COULD see him she wud say no, becus no child support had been paid....so instead I wud pay...by not seeing my dad....
I know it's terrible for u, I'm so sorry. I'm just sharing one experience out of millions people have. I may be completely wrong, but I kno that my heart felt like it was ripping thru my chest when she stopped me from seeing him over money. To this day, I'm 33, it still hurts, but now I at least understand HER strugle. My poor mom...such a superwoman. It's tough shit you superiors have to deal with, I wish u the best of everything.

Answer

You supermoms* have to deal with

How to deal with a part time lying "dad"?

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