Yesterday was a day full of happiness, excitement and pure joy! We got up early to go to San Antonio and rushed back in order to be on time for my 445 doctors appt for an ultrasound. Our day quickly turned to sadness and pain as we found out our little baby had stopped growing around 9 weeks.

Now, many people wait to announce their pregnancy until they are past the miscarrying stage but not me. With all of my pregnancies, I announced pretty soon after finding out ourselves. It's news we can't wait to share! And with that, we risk having to tell everyone if we had lost the baby or not. 

Everyone is different. They prefer different ways over others in every aspect of life. I decided that if we did lose a baby, I wanted to go through that WITH everyone rather than alone where depression can develop. We are so saddened by this and so blind sided that we weren't quite sure what to do.

Everything happened for a reason. We could have found out Tuesday, but we didn't! And that would have prevented us from getting our new puppy, Bella! Another blessing we see in this is that we found out towards the end of the day. We did grieve. (Still are) We were able to go home and go to bed. By this morning, I was okay. We did explain what had happened to Eliza. She was so invested in this baby. It was so adorable and wonderful to have a little partner talk about her baby in mommy's tummy.

With this, I won't be offended when I see an announcement or a newborn. I won't be sad. I will be reminded that we will have more children and Heavenly Father has a bigger plan for all of us. You don't need to tip toe around me. I am open and can talk about it and anything. Talking to my family about it has healed me almost completely. My husband is amazing and I love him more for enduring this with me. My heart is still tender, however. 

It's just the beginning and it may not be the worst part yet, but I am strong for my family and for my girls. Our puppy, Bella, has brought a lot of joy and playfulness into our home at the  exact moment we needed it. We love our family and how we have strength in numbers!