Struggling today

Vicki
I had a d&c at just over 9 weeks after finding out our little one had stopped growing around 7 weeks and didn't have a heartbeat. 
I'm really struggling today as I would have been 12 weeks and we should be excited and telling the world our amazing news - instead I feel like what's happened is a big shameful secret with my baby gone. 
How can I stop thinking like this? I know I'm just torturing myself with my thoughts, just wish I still had my little one 😞 any advice greatly appreciated