What Would You Do?

I met my fiance January 8, 2012. He proposed in March of the same year. I had never been with anyone who understood me and accepted me without conviction.

He has a child from a previous relationship, a son. A child that I have grown to lovable as my own in the past 2.9years... We've done so many things together and had so many adventures as a family (myself, my fiance Mat, his son J, and Mat's mother T.) J lives with his grandmother, Mat's mom, due to events that happened long before I entered into the picture. Mat has been trying so hard to do right and settle down and make "roots" to get his son back and continue our family together. I was born and raised in NH, Mat was born in NH and raised in CT. We had juggled ideas on where to plant our roots and what the easiest transitions would be for everyone involved. We decided to move to CT and have been here for 3.5months and have done the best we can with what we have; packing up and moving to a new state isn't the easiest financially or emotionally. I did it for MY family though.

Yesterday, Mat told his mother his plan of staying here for another one or two years and in that time get J adjusted to being in a new space, without Grammy. And then Mat and I would go back to NH, continuing to take J on weekends and vacations to acclimate him to the move. T, was not impressed by this plan...she called Mat selfish and childish for taking his son so far away all because Mat wanted to live in NH and not CT. I called her last night not knowing about their conversation...lets just say I feel so defeated. I want to be here, to have this family, but I'm so afraid that Mat is only moving back to NH for me, since he knows I'm homesick.

So do I stay here and feel like I'm hurting this family that I have come to love and feel so welcomed to? Or do I give it all up to give a better life to a family that I want to have everything possible? I have no idea what to do right now, but I know that I can't keep feeling like this, and that I need help trying to figure this out.

Thank You in advance, for any and all thoughts and opinions. ?

~K