What are we ?

Question

To me it's never a good sign to have to ask what are we! But after talking to him for a year I decided to ask him last night (after sex 😭) what do I tell ppl we are.... His response was "whatever you say we are babe " I said oh he said" I'll back up whatever you say we are"  my question is does that sound committed to y'all ??

Ps let me know if u need more details about are relationship it is about a 20 year difference (I'm 25 he's 42)

Answer

Uh.. Sounds bad.. Back up? Like what needs backing up?

Answer

I think you should make it clear to him what it is you are looking for and be sure to know exactly what he's looking for. Because to me, I know I wouldn't feel to secure or comfortable with that answer. By his response it's like things are still up in the air and not completely grounded and centered, you know? Hope this helps 💛

Answer

I've always avoided that question too. I'm not sure who wrote the rule that girls should be scared to ask. 
His answer sounds to me like he's comfortable.  He's ok with whatever label you give.

Answer

Well you could then say, so it's okay if I tell people we're dating? He sounds pretty into you and sounds like he's ready for a commitment but some guys are just so laid back that they don't ever think of making it "official". As long as he's treating you right and making you happy I wouldn't worry too much about it! Just tell him you'll tell people you're dating and if that's okay with him.

Answer

At his age he's probably been through all levels of commitment so labeling isn't a priority to him. If it were a 25yo male saying that then I'd be weary-ish, but I wouldn't think anything into it. If you are going to be long term with wedding bells then I'd ride it out for a bit and then ask that question rather than 'what are we'. Best of luck love

What are we ?

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