Feeling discouraged

I havent been feeling right lately. My bf and i of 7 months broke up in february. I started dating someone new in april but broke up with him a month into it because he was very verbally abusive and controlling. I gor in contact with my first ex afterward and we were hooking up. I feel like hes just using me though. He doesnt talk to me reguarly, only when he wants me to come over. I hooked up with someone i had sex with college this weekend and ive been going on dates with someone i met recently. We havent had sex yet because i want to actually take this slow. I just feel so messed up in my head. I dont feel right. Im having fun, i guess. I just jave no idea what i want.