Feeling numb...

Went to my first prenatal appt and didn't get the news I was hoping for. Got an u/s done and "baby" was seen but wasn't the shape they like and no heartbeat was found. They said it still could be early and I have a 50/50 chance. Have to go for more blood work Friday and another u/s in a week. Just thought this time around was gonna be different and first month was going to be it but I feel like devastation is happening all over again.