Heartbreak number two

Today I had my first ultrasound at what should have been 8 weeks. After my last failure (blighted ovum in 2013) I was feeling positive until I realized the tech wasn't saying anything. Then she finally explained what she saw and my heart shattered. My little nugget's heart stopped beating shortly after it started. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I have to go for another D&C and I am absolutely dreading it. I feel like I'm having an absolutely terrible dream I can't wake up from.