Deteriorating state of mind
I have always been extremely critical of myself and my views of others. Growing up I viewed this as a perfectionist trait and thought it's better to be a perfectionist because I will be very determined and strong headed. I've been at university for three years and I have gained a lot of weight and fallen in and out of diets, growing up I was never overweight, I was active and heavily involved in my academics.
I feel throughout these three years I have slipped as a person and this perfectionist trait was really low self esteem and a harsh critical viewing of myself.
I'm worried because I find myself struggling to go out, I get anxious being invited to social gatherings and needing to know every detail. I fear that I'll be "that fat chick". I feel I don't fit into the social norms and this in turn has had a greater affect on my social skills. I struggle going to shops or out to lunch and even going through druve-thrus can be hard.
It sucks because I find myself over analysing everything and i fear and feel I'm a nuisance to my friends and family. I find myself in situations where if we plan going out to dinner I stress for days on how I will look and dress and not in a "I can't wait to wear this" or excited girly squeals of "what will I wear", but instant panic that gets me worked up and my heart rate rises and I feel myself getting emotional and my chest gets tight and I grind my teeth.
I'm studying to be a high school teacher and recognise what low self esteem in adolescents are, I'm contemplating whether or not I should speak out to my parents about this and discuss speaking to a professional.
I'm worried and concerned that they'll laugh because I've had two failed diets as of late in the last three years and I feel that it'll become a circle, "oh she's trying to lose weight again". I didn't want to sit on google and research on whether or not I had a low self esteem problem, I've taken pyschology courses I understand the theory behind it, I don't want to self diagnose myself with anything. I didn't know where else to go so I thought maybe I tried eve.
Should I talk about seeing a psychologist? Does anyone else think this is normal?
Comment
Add Comment
Let’s Glow
Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy
Glow helps you navigate your fertility journey with smart tools, personalized insights, and guidance from medical experts who understand what matters most.
25+ million
Users
4.8 stars
200k+ app ratings
20+
Medical advisors
