Butt Brain

I'm talkin hemmoroids ladies.. This is the worst! It's the pressure, the constipation the I have no idea what. But it's disgusting lol. My rectum looks like a brain or a tiny sack of marbles. GroDY!! I can't stand it. I consume fiber, drink water, take all the right vitamins, and even have humbled myself to using preparation H (after Apple cider vinegar and witch hazel did little to aid my hiney) I'm sure it's the most attractive thing my husband has to look at around the region because his face is pure delight when I am exposed. He tries to contain himself but his face is too expressive, I know he sees it! I can't even sit on the church pew without a donut under me. I'm sure all the ladies are praying for me instead of confessing at communion. I just want my pretty butthole back. #thisaintright