Help? My MIL hasn't offered to buy or help at all with baby things. I know it's not necessary but my parents have bought nearly everything we need for our LO, what should I do?

Question

We live a state away from her, close to my family, but she never even calls or texts to check in. She just texts my bf and asks about him and how he's doing. We try to involve her in things when we can, like the naming but she didn't really seem to care and just changed the subject. My parents have gone out of their way to buy most of everything and plan my entire shower. I never expected her to just buy things for us, but she doesn't even check on. Am I overacting?

Answer

I think you're over reacting about her not buying anything.. she doesn't really need to.. whether she has for other grand babies or not.. but maybe you should call and check on her?? The phone works both ways.. when I don't hear from my MIL for a while, I always call to check on her or just to say hi.. she lives 6 months here (down the street from us) and 6 months in Mexico.. she hasn't been here my entire pregnancy and she hasn't bought anything for baby either.

Answer

I think this is tricky without more info. Are there other grand babies? Is she more hands on with them? Is their family style more hands off than yours?

Answer

My MIL is the same way, except we live 20 minutes from her and across the country from my family, and they've done more. I don't personally care because I have no relationship with her, and don't want one, or for her to have one with my daughter. I guess it just depends on what kind of relationship you personally want with her. I wouldn't care if she wasn't buying things but I'd be upset she wasn't checking in if she was important to me.

Answer

I say talk to her about it, but don't come off like "why aren't you buying me stuff??" 
If it's genuinely you wanting to know why she doesn't want to be involved and not just for the gifts, then that's your best bet. 
My SOs parents bought us a crib when I was 8 weeks pregnant, and it would hurt my feelings if they seemed to have no interest in our baby so I do understand that.

Answer

I'd at least want to know why? Maybe voice your concern?

Help? My MIL hasn't offered to buy or help at all with baby things. I know it's not necessary but my parents have bought nearly everything we need for our LO, what should I do?

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