No baby shower sucks 😞

When i found out i was pregnant (this is my first im 7 MO) i was full of joy, of excitement. So many ideas of getting my baby stuff when through my mind. I was excited to plan my own baby shower cause i knew how i wanted it. My husband & i talked more and he wanted a welcoming so we left it like that and we ended and still buying things little by little. We talked about it more last night and ended up deciding not to have anything at all cause i dont know how my delivery will be and just having a new born and having everyone meet her its not such a good idea cause the reason her being a new baby. Inside of me i was a lil bump because i really wanted a baby shower just seeing how my friends and family members have had their baby shower you would see how happy they were on their day. I couldn't wait til it was my turn to see how everyone would get excited for me be happy for me shower me with love. We had family members come visit and told me to go visit them its like a 5 hr drive cause they wanted to make me one i was excited but my husband he kind of wants to go then he doesn't he thinks since i need 2 more MO the long drive can be a little heavy on me which is understandable and also cause of other reasons why we shouldn't go. At the end of the day it just sucks i wont be having one 😞 my mom wants to make me one but shes sick and has stopped working shes kind of bumped but i told her its okay that not to worry ill rather have her feel and get better 🙏❤. Maybe just inside of me i didnt expect anything like this i dont have older sibilings that will make me one either cause theyre small all my friends live like an 1 hr drive so it just sucks i guess and well my husband his a guy, i think most guys dont really know much about stuff like this LOL. And he rather spend and buy everything for our baby then having a baby shower or welcoming cause he says its alot of stress and your spending the same amount thay you would be on a party. Ugh i just really wanted to have one i guess i just thought everything was going to be special since its my first. But i guess not i thought I'd be celebrating just like everybody else. I'm just stressing out cause its my first and since were buying everything i dont know what to get if i need alot of this or alot of that. Just wanted to get this out of my chest and share. 💔