FTM let down
Today is just one of those days when things just kind of catch up with you I just feel like I'm doing a horrible job this gestational diabetes classification is really throwing my depression and anxiety for a loop I just feel like my body is letting my baby down i feel like my doctors and nurses don't really understand like I've seen a change in them since I was diagnosed like I don't know like they don't like me as much anymore I don't know what it is maybe it's because they have to refer me out or it's more work for them but I definitely sense a change in their demeanor and it kind of hurts and that's just hormones cause usually my feelings don't get hurt and now it's just been a big struggle with my insurance calling every day and these people trying to make appointments with me and they called at 6 and 7 in the morning and have to sleep because I work 3rd Shift and by the time I call them back there's no one in the office I don't know why it's so stressful to just make these appointments I feel like everything is my fault and I'm definitely letting my kids down and then on top of it every time I have to have a conversation with these doctors or nurses they keep asking about my support system and I've told them over and over and do not have one and that is okay I have a therapist I do not have friends I do not have family I cannot do anything about that and every time they make me talk about it they make it seem like there's something wrong with me. I'm so over this pregnancy I thought this would be a really exciting time of my life and it's just horrible I just want my son here and forget about all this
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