Is this real life?

Courtney
I feel like such an emotionless zombie and my body feels awful (headache, stomach issues, etc). Never in a million years did I picture loss to be this tough.  I was like this for about a week after the miscarriage but this stillbirth feels so different.  I feel robbed and beaten up.  
Every morning I wake up hoping it was a bad dream and grabbing for my large belly.  But it isn't a dream, it's real fucking life and I'm now skinny again.  How the balls am I supposed to get through this????