Love or not?

Question

My boyfriend was married for five years. They got divorced and have been separated for about two years. We've been dating for almost six months now and I am his first relationship since the divorce. He's told me he'll never tell another woman he loves them again ever, and that hurts me to hear that. I strongly feel that he does love me, but I'm not sure how to process this. And I don't want to bother him by bringing it up..

Answer

I'm sure a divorce is hard...

And I'm going to say this as delicate as possible...

But, it's a little dramatic to me, if he's telling you that he'll never tell another woman that he loves (her,you, them,who ever it might be)

Does that mean he just is going to float around and not love anyone... ? Why would he date then... ?

I would give him some time....
But, how much time I'm not sure.

I don't know how long the healing process is....and I'm sure everyone is different.

If he doesn't want to " love " again, 
are you prepared for that ?

Is that something that you would be okay with? Not being told that you are loved, or just dating forever... ?

Do you have feelings for him ?

Answer

Your feelings are legit and you shouldn't feel like you're "bothering" him by discussing your feelings. But if he cannot express how he feels about you, or cannot commit to you in the way you need, you may need to consider moving on. Don't be someone's bandaid. He needs to heal himself.

Answer

Take in to account statistics show that it takes a person 5 years to return to the same level of happiness they had before the divorce. I know two years seems like a long time but it really isn't. You might need to consider that he's not ready for a commitment like saying I love you. If you want to stay that's your choice but that's a really hard thing to through. Even if both party's feel that way. Sometimes space is a good thing. And it's not fair to you presume how he feels. Maybe he does love you and he just can't say the words just yet. Maybe he's not ready to open him self up to that yet. But you putting yourself in a position of thinking you know how he feels isn't healthy for you.

Love or not?

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