So over TTC 💔💔💔💔

Right about now I am lost for words..... confused.... filled with anxiety and anger.... I am so over TTC , I NEVER in all my life thought trying for a baby could be so challenging and hard!!!! Having terrible POAS habits just to get myself set up for another heartbreak... I have been TTC for a year and 2 months with my fiancé with NO luck... what hurt the most is having all the signs and symptoms but end up getting a BFN which makes me look like an HUGE idiot!!!! I hate to say it but.... maybe it is me because in my last relationship my ex had a baby (which his baby mother had an abortion) also my fiancé now had a baby (but the baby was killed in an car accident) it hurts me so bad to know that I have fertility issues.... I have did all the timing for sex and everything!!!!! but of course NOTHING!!! I am going to delete glow and completly stop tracking my period because it is no use in getting my anxiety out of whack because I want a BFP....... I am over it 😪😪😪 I am tired of seeing one line on a test or an indent line.... It really breaks my heart....