In need of advise, please.

I'll try to keep this short. I am 32 and my bf of 3 years is 27. We tried for about 10 months to conceive before the stress took over. Our relationship took a hard hit. Although we're not using protection were not trying to conceive right now. My problem is I'm having a hard time letting it go. I want children soon but I completely understand the need to wait due to our Rocky relationship. Although, every month, when AF shows up I'm devastated for days that I'm not pregnant. How do I come to terms with this or at least control my emotions during af? Any help is appreciated. Thank you.