I'm sorry ( normally it's the man but it's me)

I think I made the biggest mistake of my life. I think I let go of a really good man. Someone I can honestly say changed things for me so I could be comfortable but I couldn't let go of something so stupid...I have been physically mentally abused by my husband and was left on Mother's Day 2014 with me and our son stuff thrown out and he got thE neighbor pregnant. I know I hit the jackpot with Anthony and I could see him being it but I'm scared to get hurt again has anyone been like this before how did you handle it. I want him to I'm sorry I love him and he's thing that walked into me and Lucas life. I prayed for a man like him and God blessed me now my dumb ass pushing him away...