Still feeling really rubbish after finding out that I had a silent miscarraige during my first pregnancy at the first scan at 11 weeks.

got told baby had only grown to 5+5 and they couldn't detect a heartbeat but because of legal reasons they couldn't sort anything for 2 weeks so they could guarantee that baby wasn't alive and that I hadn't got the dates wrong.

husband is military so works away, if it wasn't 11 weeks then I wasn't pregnant because he hadn't been home. I had to wait for 2 weeks for another scan, knowing that I was carrying a dead baby inside me, still feeling 100% of all the pregnancy symptoms till I finally got seen then went for surgery the following morning.

woke up feeling empty and like everything was my fault.

it's now been 2 months and still not pregnant again, I got pregnant that time on my first month off the pill so i know I'm expecting a lot but I'm now stressing myself out with thoughts like 'what if that was my only chance' and 'I don't know if I could go through that again'.

just hoping that any lovely ladies can share some positive stories about their rainbows that can help give me that bit of positivity and support.

it doesn't help that one of my best friends is now 10 weeks pregnant and telling me every little detail - I'm trying to be supportive but it's so hard. xxx