What I hate most

I've always been a single mom. I have 2 gorgeous little girls and I could t ask for more. You can imagine money is tight and there's a lot of hand me downs going around and after the diapers and food and clothes and rent and gas and everything else there isn't much left for saving. Right now we're using baby wipes for toilet paper bc I haven't had the time the energy or the money really to replace it until today. Before I had kids I was spoiled by myself and my dad-I'd blow through money like it was free bc I could-no bills, no responsibility and no real experience w "no" or a need for self discipline. Even as drastically different as my lifestyle is now compared to back then (5yrs ago), Idc bc I have my girls and I'd do anything for them. I'm not even mad I'm doing it alone. What I hate most about the position I'm in as a single mom is the guilt I feel for working. It's hard bc logically I know I have to work and I don't have the luxury of being home w them. But emotionally I struggle bc I miss them and I want as much time w them as possible. I tell myself they're not damaged for it, but I wonder sometimes.. Morning time before work and school is hectic and I feel bad if we have to rush or hussel. After work I'm so exhausted mentally it's hard to be present emotionally. I'm physically exhausted from producing breastmilk for two babies. I leave work at 5, home by 6, bed by 8/9 just to get up at 5 and go again.  I'm not really sure what I'm looking for in posting this except I guess to just get it out. Thanks for listening 👍🏼