Wiped out/ trouble TTC #1

Side note:

-I'm 28. I shouldn't be having any problems TTC!

-I'm actually an over-the-top optimistic person. I just need to do something with these emotions, and at the moment, this seems just. I just need to vent, cry it out (again), and wait. 

-I've got my final fertility work up 7/20, so after that test I'll finally be put in letrozole or clomid. Not sure if I'll actually need a surgical procedure to get the endo cleaned up, but whatever it takes, I'm game.

 I teach dance and have this crazy gift for the toddlers, specifically ages 3-4. Like, I'm ready. "Miss Giselle" was born to be a mom. I'm a child at heart. I've got the "Mary Poppins" thing down. I fucking ADORE children. Kids are the whole reason why I danced in shows at Disneyland, Tokyo Disneyland, and Disneyworld. I just want to always create magic for the babes. Give them a little bit of sunshine in this crazy world. I'm super on top of being attentive to children, watching my choice of language, and showing love to all. I'm just emotional at the moment, and all I can think of is "well WHAT THE FUCK" universe. I'm such a good person, and give back every moment I can. 

If anyone else is out there using this app, I seriously could talk to someone. I'm balling writing this. All my friends are posting new pregnancy announcements on FB and as I'm super excited and overjoyed for each of them, it stings so terribly. Im just so ready. 

And yes, I've tried "not trying." I've tried just forgetting about it and just enjoying my wonderful most loving husband in the world. 

One more side note:

-I had two IUD (mirenas, one the full 5 years, the second one in for 1.5 years) 

-my cycles (TMI) have been incredibly mucusy. Like full on period but it's not liquid form. It's bizarre. 

-I put a pic of my view. I've got my cup to drink away my tears (I know drinking the pain away isn't the answer, however today it is. I'm super responsible and don't drink at all during my lutual phase.)

Ok. I think I'm done. I really needed that. Thank you seriously from the bottom of my heart to anyone out there who read this. I'm here to whomever you are, and to just cry with you if you need. Fuck knows I've got all the tears in the world at the moment. 

All the love and positive energy in the world,

"Miss Giselle" (aka Giselle)