Rainbow baby.

A lot of mixed feelings. Happy to have another chance, on the other hand, it feels like I'm betraying my lost baby my moving on/loving another baby. Carried last baby to full term, it was a beautiful baby boy. This time I'm having a girl and I'm really upset because I was hoping for another boy. I'm just starting to realize that I was hoping to recreate the bond to fill the hole left from our lost baby. I know it's a bit confusing, but has anyone else experienced these kind of feelings?