So it really hit me tonight that I have to go back to work in 9 days and I'm totally unprepared to do so. We still haven't nailed down our childcare situation and I'm freaking out. I know I'm pretty lucky to have been able to take the first 15 weeks of my little one's life off of work with pay...but that doesn't make it any easier to swallow going back. I'm afraid of missing her first giggle and her babbling. I will miss nursing her and her milky smiles and the way her entire face lights up. My husband, bless his heart, just doesn't quite understand why I am so sad about having to go back...he took 4 weeks off and has been back working since...but it is so different for me in my opinion. This beautiful little girl came from my body and her growth so far has been entirely dependent upon nourishment from my body. I'm the one who wakes to feed and change her at night. She's my little mini me and I'm afraid to leave her so young with someone I don't know. What if they don't respond to her cries at the drop of the hat like I do? What if my milk supply drops and our breastfeeding relationship suffers because she'll need to be taking bottles during the day? I am in tears just thinking about it!!! Ugh. I wish I could quit my job and be a SAHM, but financially it is impossible for us right now. My heart is breaking!!!