27 weeks and in hospital
2 nights ago I woke up at 3 am with broken water I'm only 27 weeks I waited till 6am to go to hospital I reluctantly woke my 2yr old daughter an took her in her pj's an grabbed clothes for the day only to find out I had to be transferred from one hospital to another now it's been almost 3 days sense I kissed my baby girl an told her I love her I miss her so much an know it could be weeks before I see her again I keep being told by doctors my 2 yr old is not important constantly which in turn is making me not even want this baby I had one healthy Baby girl an should have stopped I guess even tho this one is a boy like we originally wanted I can't help but feel guilty that I'm here gone from my baby girl who I've never left more than I night here an there at longest I'm losing the rest of our summer together an going to miss the fairs an was in the midst of potty training which no one will continue as I lay here not able to sleep and not touch my belly to feel this baby I can't help but feel like I've let my little girl down everyone keeps saying I'm selfish but I can't help how I feel . After talking to a NICU doc yesterday knowing I will not be able to try an breastfeed as I hoped an we will not beable to.cut the cord or have those first bonding moments together on my chest or beable to hold this baby for awhile I can't help but feel like this baby doesn't belong to me like I'm being punished for having another but no one understands this feeling here I've been told multiple times now all the health issues this baby will prolly have an it makes it all.so much worse I feel so guilty for bringing a life into this world that will never live a normal life and need things we could.never afford in reality but my fiancé is refusing to let any of this change his mind and I mad at me for thinking in such ways but I don't know how I'm supposed to feel any different Givin the situation. Just looking to vent an see if anyone else is going thru anything like this. I just miss my gorgeous little girl!!