Anxious, paranoid & feeling disgusting

Before I got pregnant I suffered with severe anxiety disorder and something called body dysmorphia. I was just getting myself on track before finding out I was pregnant. I am 28 weeks now and have become extremley anxious and paranoid again. I'm terrified of the weight I am putting on (I know we all put weight on but before commenting read up about the illness I have) my partner is due to go on a stag do next week and I'm terrified he will cheat. His friends have made comments about going to strip clubs. He isn't the type to but I can't get this out the back of my head. I am constantly thinking he's going to be admiring all women with their perfect bodies. He understand how I am but no matter what I do to block this out I just can't. It's really hard because I can't take my medication due to being pregnant and I'm finding myself hiding away if not sleeping all the time. I can't wait to have this baby already and be able to get back onto my dieting and medication. I used to be so confident at one point and any look i got was nice now when people look at me its like their looking at me in disgust. My weight has always been an issue for me it wasnt a huge deal 9st-10st. But as i have suffered domestic violence in previous relationships (over 3 years ago) and being verbally abused about my weight on a daily basis was hard and I'm not exactly obese before pregnancy. I weighed 10 1/2 stone I just can't cope with this. My mind is in over drive and I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle on a daily basis. Sorry! I just needed to get this out as nobody understands 😔😔

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