Struggling this morning.

Just needed to share. Husband and I've been trying for 3 years, I thought things felt different this month, but I'm thinking I was wrong. Took hpt last night at 10dpo, bfn. When checking cm this morning , watery brown. Still have 4 days til AF is to arrive. But I'm feeling like the factors are against me, and i feel down but I can't share with husband because his mindset is you shouldn't test til AF is late.

Trying to stay hopeful, but failing, and feeling like a failure. Again.