sad 😢

I just received my visit from AF earlier today and every month it's the same, I can't sleep, and cry every night about the same thing.. I'm really young and already have one son.. But I've always wanted a big family and I've dreamt about being a mother my whole life since my step mother did nothing but treat my brother, sister and I like slaves.. No matter how many times and how on the dog we try it's like nothing is happening.. I feel helpless, depressed and selfish.. But most of all I feel wrong for even allowing my self to feel this way.. My husband is in no rush(he is the youngest of 5 and 8-11 years younger than the rest)