..and not fair to this baby I'm carrying . I need to vent because I'm to the point of constant tears. So before I was pregnant everything was fine in my family. We didn't struggle, our only struggle ever was making it to school on time or maybe the kids growing out of something to fast, or maybe even a fight at school. But other than that things were great. We have a big house, lots of supportive family, 5 fur babies, a hard working SO, I finsihed my graduate school things were at a good point.

Within the first few weeks of my pregnancy my car was rendend by a motorcycle. I'm paying a lawyer now because the motorcyclist is blaming me.

Ok so that's nothing, I get put on bed rest at 5 weeks I can handle that, yes it hard but manageable.

Ok fast frwd to a month ago my children's father gets them his half of summer. I had a hard time letting them go because he's been caught giving them alcohol amount many things. He doesn't work and he has extreme ptsd in a violent way.

So 2 weeks ago I get call and text from him and my daughter begging me to let her move with him out of state. Absolutely NOT. So after days of that she finally accuses my SO of touching her, no proof nothing and believe me if I though he ever even came close to it he would be out but it was her way to get her way. So again I have to get the lawyer and fight it. It's determined false alligations as a way of manipulation. I should add in Colorado our therapist claimed my ex was sociopathic, I've tried to get ahold of her notes but she's retired now and I can't seem to reach her. I'm in another state all togther.

Fast frwd to today. He drops my son off in my front yard and peels out. My daughters is missing she was due home today. I call the sheriff they escorts me to hid "house" only to find that no one or anything was there any more. My son tells me they've been living at his friends houses and couch surfing for weeks. So now he won't bring back my daughter, I have no idea were she is, and on top of that according to the sheriff they cant get her back because accroding to California law even though he is not the legal guardian of her because he has weekend visits every other weekend it's not kidnapping.

So I spent all day in court finding the right paper work again talking to the lawyer for advise, and go back tomarrow. And for what they refuse to enforce the court order we already have.

The stress has caused me to break out in the biggest rash ever. I'm afraid for my son to start school his week because what if his father shows up and takes him, I already know the local law enforcement won't do anything. I'm so scared for him.

Keep in mind I'm on bedrest and my stress level highest it's ever been and I've been through alot in my life.

I have lost all faith in our justice system, how could they let him just take her he has no right to her, his alligations were proven false, and yet no law enforcement will help.

This is the nightmare no mom wants to live I feel like a really bad lifetime movie. I just needed to vent because it's eating me every piece of me up. And my unborn child I can only hope the stress doesn't hurt it.