Almost a year of trying now..

My husband and I have been together for 5 years he has a child from a previous relationship and don't get me wrong number he's an amazing father we have his son full time. But I wanted to wait to have children till we were married and owned our first home. (My opinion only) I felt we were doing it the "right" way I would have my life in order and then in some magically dream I though once I was ready we would concieve. That however was not the case. I went off of BC and didn't have a period for 4 months then my doctor put me on progestone we convince that month! Don't get me wrong we were blessed but our bliss was short lived after we lost that angel. Now we are coming up on the one year mark I have had 4 periods in a year and all of those only due to being on progestone and now I'm starting to doubt this is what is really destin for me. Plenty of people live happy full lives without children, right? But then I see woman who don't have a pot to piss in pregnant on their fourth child, yes I am a tad jealous. But all I can think is why not me? I lost my mom a year and a half ago and want nothing more than to be a mother like she was to me. But maybe that's not in my cards. 😞 the end of this month I go to the doctors for testing to see what is "wrong" with me please pray and send baby dust to me.