Sex turns me off.. Help

Sexual thoughts turn me on but when it comes down to actually receiving or giving oral, something happens and I just disconnect. I dont enjoy it. I'll pretend to bc I'll want to be into it, I'll be wet and everything but it feels like I'm not there mentally or something and cant get into so I'm not satisfied afterwards or I'll tell the guy to stop after a few minutes.

Its stressful. I'm 21 now and I want to experience sex.. I want to enjoy it. No, I'm not in a relationship. I've tried masturbating many times but I've never gotten off from it. Ever. Idk what to do.

When I try to finger myself or use a dildo, I feel dirty.. like I'm a whore or something and I'm even more scared to let a guy penetrate me bc he could just never talk to me again and ignore me.

Has anyone ever been in my situation? Idw to continue living sexually frustrated, it sucks so bad. Please help and be kind. Thank you.