Not as scared as I should be?

Question

******Trigger warning.*******

So my friend thinks I have a mental disorder because I'm not effected daily by what had happened to me, and didn't seek any help.

Long story short I was sold for drugs when I was 4 till I was 11 by my father to countless men and women and family members, (brothers cousins, uncles,) I'd guess over 300 and given countless *treatable* stds.

At 15 I was raped in a garage I walked past.

At 17 I was abducted and raped in a van.

No one had ever been arrested, nor at those times did my family believe me.

Is it possible that I have a mental disorder because I don't feel anything when I talk about it? Not anger or fear? Just pure "this is what happened? "

Am I insane?

I think I'm letting the possibility that I have a mental disorder bother me 10× worse than any of the assaults.

Anon because I don't want anyone to think I'm as crazy as I feel.

Answer

It is a very normal thing to shut ones self off emotionally in response to trauma, and it sounds like that's what you have done. Does it mean you have dealt with the trauma? Probably not. It's your way if emotionally coping. There is a very good book called "the boy who was raised as a dog" by Bruce D Perry which talkes about childhood trauma and emotional abuse in a very readable and helpful way. You might find it helpful.

Answer

I think you should see a therapist so you aren't numb and can actually deal with what has happen to you

Answer

Idk you might be compartmentalizing things. I have done that my whole life. Like shitty things have happened and I have just brushed it off my shoulder till I eventually exploded. I talk to a therapist and stuff now which has helped a lot and helped me to actually feel things instead of be numb to them. In your situation it seems like maybe you have learned to just kind of push it in the back of your mind and taught yourself not to think or feel about it. I would try and talk to a therapist about this stuff it's helpful!

Answer

Not feeling anything towards it is a coping mechanism. Chances are if you had seeked help from a professional they would have even told you that. Don't feel bad about how you cope. You may have moved on already, but do keep conscious of this, if you've repressed your feelings about it they could come back to bite you later, that's also normal, but you would probably need to see someone about it if that were the case. Just keep aware of your mental health, make sure you aren't showing signs of depression or anything, and you'll probably be fine. You don't seem bothered by it, so for now I don't see a reason to say there's anything "wrong" with you because of it.

Answer

This may just be a coping mechanism.  You may have justrepressed the feelings. Or this may be acceptance. If you are worried I would go talk to a therapist. It can't do any harm at any rate and can set your mind at ease.

Answer

Avoidance is a sign of PTSD. You are numb to the pain. It will most likely effect you later in life. I am so sorry that all happened to you.

Answer

I think you should start searching for a therapist just in case in comes crashing in on you. I'm very surprised that you're okay , considering what you've been through. But having a support system just in case you break isn't a bad idea. I don't think you have a mental illness though, you just shut it out .

Answer

I would say everyone handles things like this differently. Maybe your way is that you moved past it and feel nothing at this point in your life. I wouldn't by any means say you have a mental disorder because you handled things diffrently than someone else thinks you should. I am very sorry these things happened to you but from someone that was victimized by my father I know everyone else's sorry' said don't mean much.

Answer

No one here can say for sure. But it seems like you've had a hell of a time and experienced things that most of us here cannot even imagine. You have to be the judge of your own mind here. Are you functioning? Are you stable and healthy? If so, then it's still possible you could be experiencing some depersonalisation, which can become a disorder. Either way, if you're asking here, it's a sign that you should invest in the opinion of a professional. :)

Answer

I wouldn't say a mental disorder, not a psychologist so I can't say yes or no. But maybe that's your way of dealing with it? Everybody responds differently to things, have you tried talking to a professional about what's happened? I believe if you haven't it may be very beneficial,  maybe you think because this has seemed to happen your whole life that it's your "normal". I don't know all about this but I've read in cases of people who have been abducted and just after a while it was normal to them. Maybe something similar is happening to you?

Not as scared as I should be?

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